This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
