To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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