Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize