your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think I won the penis lottery.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
