I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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