sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
