Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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