I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
