i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
