i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
