I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
