I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
