so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
