I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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