Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
