Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He better not be in your backpack
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
