Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
