I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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