maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize