i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Randomize
