So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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