I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize