Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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