Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
