So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
3pm strippers are depressing
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
