i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
zippers are such a cool invention
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
