i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
