So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
