Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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