Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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