You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
