she was so not down for the gang bang
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
