Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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