I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
