We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So here I am, sexting at work.
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