Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
