We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
