remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm jealous of your bromance
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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