I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
