Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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