Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
