i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
