If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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