guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize