So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So much rum. So many feels.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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