I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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