Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
