After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
