genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
