porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
