why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
