Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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