If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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