is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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