the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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