I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
