i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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