I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
