Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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