It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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