In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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