problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize