Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
