can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize