anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
