Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My feet surprised me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
