Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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