yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
